Marc Jacobs Hast Lost His Skinny Little Mind

I know he's had himself some trouble with the white stuff, but did the party powder leave him with Swiss cheese brain? Observe:


($995, Marc Jacobs, Barneys)
These are the best of the worst. Still, there is no instance imaginable that would make these acceptable.



($398, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Zappos Couture)
I give it a month before Jessica Simpson's photographed walking out of The Ivy in these. (Note: that does NOT make them right!)



($385, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Shopbop.com)
Or in these.


($185, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Bergorf Goodman)
Dude. Seriously. Come on. Seriously? Dude! This is some Payless shit!


($228, Marc By Marc Jacobs, eLuxury)
Honestly??


($873, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Zappos Couture)
Sigh. Real bad news. Where to even begin? These look like something I would've seen in like 1988 at like, Wild Pair at the mall and BEGGED my mom to get me so I could wear 'em do the Roger Rabbit in 'em at the middle school mixer. At least that memory isn't even real -- it's just a figment of a made-up memory and not a real one, unlike the actual memories of those who currently own these and will wear them and then sadly look back one day, 17 years from now, in horror. Regret's a bitch!


At least I would not regret owning this:
($1,650, Marc Jacobs, eLuxury.com)