Amazing! (?) Convertible! Camileon Heels!

We can't elect a woman president (in this country) or get paid as much as men, but God damn it all, we members of the fairer sex CAN have a flat and pump all in one!


The Camileon heel is a convertible heel, designed by a very smart doctor, and it goes from flat to high and back again by its secret, patented James-Bond-in-a-skirt-esque MAJE TECHNOLOGY MIRACLE SCIENCES. The secret,which I'll now reveal, is that THE HEEL RETRACTS AND FOLDS INTO THE SOLE OF THE SHOE! OMG! This is supposed to be extra better for you to walk around in, and it's supposed to also give you mindblowing orgasms every time you put them on.


Shoewawa covered them earlier this year, and Zappos has them for the not-comfortable price of $288, which is sorta like paying $144 for one pair of shoes, but still, that's a lot for weird-looking shoes. They've also got several other pairs in varying degrees of ugliness (though not as uggo as these.)

Just look how much more psyched about her life this woman is.

To me, they look like broken heels. At this point in my life, I can handle the BIG DECISION in the morning of which footwear is most appropriate for the day. Even living in New York, where I walk A LOT, I feel like I don't need a pair of magic shoes. But maybe I'm just a simpleton and not cut out for these fancy, new-fangled crazy ideas. Maybe I am, and maybe I also am.