Spending YOUR Money: Philip B Truffle Conditioner

And now, it's time for a feature that will heretofore be referred to as "Spending YOUR Money" -- as in, things that I would gladly buy... with YOUR money. Get it?

($75, Philip B)

At $75 per 6 oz, Philip B White Truffle Nourishing Hair Conditioning Creme is SUPER pricey for a hair product. But here's the thing: it fucking empowers your scalp to grow ACTUAL TRUFFLES, which you can then harvest and sell at a premium. So, with the price of truffles having risen up to $3,500 a pound, the $75 is really just an investment in a lucrative future! Bonus: really gorge hair! Another unforeseen benefit: just sprinkle some head-grown truffles over some Kraft Easy Mac and voila -- your very own DIY version of Waverly Inn's now-$85 mac and cheese with truffles. (Grr, inflation! Because $55 for mac and cheese was SO much more reasonable!)

But back to Philip B's pricey fungus-infused conditioning creme: the site doesn't tell you much about it except that it contains amino acids (it'd better!) and "restores intense moisture and repair without weighing down your hair!" Um, for $75, I except a BIT more copy!

Only two Makeup Alley users and two Total Beauty users reviewed it; one of the former effused "the best hair I have ever had, It's just so gorgeous and lush!," while one from the latter claimed "meh."

I think I'll hedge my bets for a more middle-of-the-road option:

($27, Philip B, PeterLouisSalon.com)

Philip B Chocolate Milk Body Wash -- still a bit pricey, but ultimately, I'd probably rather smell like Quik than 'shrooms.

BTW: Because surely you were DYING of curiosity, this is what Philip B looks like -- a well-coiffed cross between Ty from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and Fabio.

Now, Philip, bro, MOVE! THAT! BUS!